The Art of Productive Disagreement

[Being civil, skirting around difficult topics isn't enough.]

[Disagreement is rarely about facts, but about values.]

[Seeing what happens, making a prediction and then wait, implies there's nothing to argue about. Everyone learns something. It's a way of creating rituals.]

[Celebrate cognitive dissonance from being wrong because it's a sign of learning.]

[In new spaces, ask what is nobody allowed to talk about. The closer it is to the surface, the more taboo it might be.]

[Put the facts aside: what does each party want? what do they think is going to happen? How much is it going to change the future? Let's check back in a month, no rush to solve this, we'll still be friends, it's about our relationship.]

[Biases are functional and everyone needs them to survive.]